Pants

Well I finally broke down and bought new pants. I lost a bunch of weight, so my pants didn't fit. I know good for me. Well I went to the store. I looked all over the women's section for pants that I liked. Well I am cheap. I don't like to pay more than 15$ for a pair of pants. Well I didn't see any that I liked, that I would pay over said amount. So I went to Plato's Closet. I found pants galore! Plus they were all in my price range.

I have not noticed that there is a new trend. I guess I have been out of the loop for so long, I don't know what the fashion is. ( I haven't bought pants in over 6 years.) I guess the new trend is, to have your pants low. I mean so low that your ass will hang out if you move to much. All of the pants these days are "low riders". I'm sorry, I don't like to have people see my ass. I really don't even like my doctor to see my ass. So every pair of pants are really low. It really sucks for me. I am short. Normal pants are way to long for me. I would have to roll them up so much, they would look stupid on me. So in my case, I have to buy Capri pants for them to fit me normal. Anyways, I find pants in my size. I buy three pairs. ( I didn't try them on. I hate trying on pants.) That should last me another 6 years or so, if I don't gain any weight. I get them home, wash them. Well the next day, I put my new to me pair of pants on. They fit just great. It is nice to have pants that don't fall off of me. I go about my day. Well when I sit down I feel a breeze. So I stand up, and pull my pants up. I sit back down. The same thing happens. Now I am wondering if I just bought defective pants. I get to talking to James. He tells me that all of the women's pants now are mostly "low riders". How in the hell does he know that? Really? How does he know?

So he explains to me the fashion trend. I'm just not hip to the new trend. I'm sorry, I'm just not. I like the good old days when pants didn't show your ass. I want my Mom Jeans back.

So the moral of the story is, make sure your pants don't show your ass. I will be a very weird feeling between you and your ass.