Thursday, March 08, 2007

For the Love of Husband

I swore, if I didn't love the asshole I would kill him! Then I would be on Lifetime Movie Network in the movie of the week. Plus they would have that Tori Spelling bitch try and play me in that movie. I really don't want that to happen.

Okay here is what happened, and why I want to kill him.

This has been a on going thing with us. It really didn't start up until we were married. James has the most god awful smelling feet in the world. I have been trying for years to get him to go to the doctor and get his feet looked at. Well I have a bucket in the laundry room with water and bleach in it just for his socks. His job is to put his smelly ass socks in that bucket every day, or every time he changes his socks. That's it, that is all he has to do besides take out the trash everyday. That is all the house work he has to do. Lucky huh. Well it seems he is having a problem putting his smelly ass socks in this said bucket. I was cleaning the house yesterday and I kept smelling this really funky smell. So with most people I try and track down this smell and make it go away. It took me an hour to track down the smell. Some how he put his nasty ass smelly socks on the heater vent! OH MY GOD!!!! The smell I can't even describe. If I did I would gross out way to many people.

So James gets home. We fill in each other about our day and what needs to be done. Then I tell him about his funky socks. So we get into a fight about his feet. I know he was offended, but DAMN! For years I have been trying to get this man to get his feet looked at. He tells me that he went to a doctor a few years ago and the doctor told him there isn't anything they can do about it. I think that is a big load of crap. I have bought him all the athletes foot stuff and I made sure he put it on every day and night. That stuff didn't help. Then there are the odor eater things and the foot powder. That stuff didn't help either. I can't make him go to the doctor, so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Okay I don't think anyone will understand how bad his feet really are. Alright here it goes, I will describe how bad it really is.

When he puts on a bleached clean pair of socks. With in an hour his feet start to stink. Then when he gets home from work, this is the gross part. The bottoms of his socks are yellow and crusty. Those socks can stand up alone, and I'm not even joking. When he does take off his socks he has to peel them off and the sound, sounds like velcro. Okay that is his work socks, I can understand that. Now on the weekends when he doesn't have to work. He takes a shower, puts on very clean socks. He will lay on the couch and watch Sports Center for about 2 hours. His feet start to stink again. All the man is doing is laying on the damn couch not moving. What the hell! But he still thinks there isn't a problem and it is just a mental thing with me.

So I told him yesterday during our little fight, if he can't put his socks in the bucket, then I will take them outside and burn them in the little fire pit we have. So as in most fights he tries to find some thing to say to me that is hurt full. Well he is really slow on the come backs. We went to the Eagles and by the time we went to bed, that is when he had his come back. Talk about a delay.

What he said wasn't even hurt full, it was funny to me. He said " Well when you worked at GM your feet didn't smell april fresh either so there! I have kept that to myself for 3 years because I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

We were laying in bed watching tv and out of the blue he says this. I just had to laugh at him which made it worse. So I guess I will have to live with the man who's feet smell like the Bog of all Stench.


Heatherly said...

my brother's sox do that! ew. he found that if he rubs vicks vaporub on them it helps. heck, the stuff kills toenail fungus!

Anonymous said...

yep i have been in your house at least a thousand times and i have never seen this bucket so you talk about him like hes such a dumbass but all he does is work so you can sit on your ass and knit or type on this stupid blog